Ever do something that shows your vulnerable side to everyone and you really want to do it because you desperately want to just be who you are instead of the version of you that you feel is most acceptable? Yeah, me neither. Haha. Just kidding. I have been working on this for a while now. That’s one of the reasons I started this blog. I take the time here with the help of my oracle cards to explore me and become better in touch with myself. Why is it so hard to just be yourself? Personally, my reasons are a long story, one that I will save for another time if ever. Anywho..I am struggling today. I am having the vulnerability hangover and a serious crush of my self esteem even though what I did was received well. It mostly goes that way for me though. I do something and then I am on cloud nine and then the inner critic steps in. It almost paralyzes me to the point that I can’t even function. I can’t think straight and I doubt every single detail about myself. Funny side note here is that I accidentally typed sinful instead of single in the previous sentence.

Hopefully, the oracle deck I chose can help me straighten out my head here. I used The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit Oracle deck. If you have ever seen The Wild Unknown tarot deck it looks just like that. If you haven’t seen it they are pleasant, but a simple design. They are a mix of black and white with subtle color. Again, simple, but pleasing. One of the things I like about the book that comes along with this deck is that the description of the card is succinct and the way that the animals are organized. They are divided up into the elements; spirit, air, fire, water, and earth.

I’ll have to admit that I have the blahs so much right now that it is taking me enormous strength (slight hyperbole, but I am fine really..just blah) to finish writing this blog.

Back to the subject. I pulled the Lizard card. The meaning in the book for the Lizard basically is that the lizard is magically intuitive and sees what isn’t yet to manifest and hears what isn’t said. It goes on to say that being in big crowds, traveling too much and overstimulation drains the ability to be intuitive.

I know all the card pulls are accurate for what I need to hear. Maybe I need to come back to this one later. I think I am drained. Go rest, y’all.